The European Union at the end: a chronicle

065 September 22, 2017 -- (asphalt)

Euronews informs us1:

Is Romania ready to deal with its rising migrant numbers?

Migrants have been crossing the Black Sea to Romania in increasing numbers.

On Tuesday night a small boat carrying 157 migrants from Iraq and Iran was found off the Romanian coast.

Three days before, the coast guard had intercepted a rickety boat with 97 migrants on board, 36 of them children.

So the new route to Europe has become the Black Sea, via ramshackle boat. But wait, there's more!

On September 3rd another fishing boat carrying 87 migrants was stopped by the border police.

These are just the latest in a series of search and rescue missions, which saw over the last month 480 migrants reaching the Romanian shoreline.

Migrants took the 200-km-long journey across the perilous Black Sea, igniting fears that Turkish smugglers are opening up a new route for illegal entry into the European Union.

Reviewing our last chronicle, we recall that the previous preferred route of refugee (and/or "refugee") hordes was via the Mediterranean, i.e. from Turkey to Greece or Bulgaria -- but mainly Greece -- then Serbia, then Hungary or Croatia, then the sky's the limit. More importantly though, the destination is usually Germany, whether EU bureaucrat derps formally relocate them to Hungary (pro-tip: they don't), Poland (pro-tip: they don't) or Switzerland -- pro-tip: they do on their own terms, and beaucoup de lulz ensues. Anyway, moving on.

The route has been used modesty in the past -- just one person in 2016 according to statistics from the European Border and Coast Guard Agency (Frontex).

But modesty has been used quite immodestly.

Migrants entering Romania by boat are taken to a hosting area and held for up to 48 hours in order to verify their identity. If they don’t request political asylum, those caught at sea are returned to Turkey. Once the background check is completed, the immigration office steps in, sending asylum seekers to various centres across the country.

Besides receiving basic amenities, asylum seekers get three euros per day for food and almost 40 euros annually for clothing.

Let's do a bit of math. 3€ is about 13-14 units in the local currency (lei). 14 lei per day amounts to 420 lei per month, which is more than what many elder Romanians get for their pension, after decades of bleeding and sweating for the ol' regime. So despite what the average Westerner might think, 3€ per day for food is more than a generous giveaway. More than.

The average waiting time for an asylum application to be resolve is about 10 months and asylum decisions are open to lawsuits.

Then again, most actions pertaining to the local authorities last about ten months. Romanian bureaucracy, what can I say.

In the first seven months of this year, 2,800 people were caught illegally crossing the border, up from 1,624 for the whole of 2016, according to the Romanian Border Police.

A spokesperson for the force told Euronews the increase is limited in comparison to other parts of Europe but that authorities had scaled up efforts to better secure and monitor the frontiers.

The rising number of people trying to illegally enter Romania could signal a shift in the routes migrants use to get into the EU.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Romania isn’t part of the Schengen Area making it harder for migrants to move westwards.

But that could all change. Jean Claude Juncker, president of the European Commission, used his State of the Union address this week to call for Romania and Bulgaria to be part of Schengen.

Oh, really? Romanians moved this item off the list of priorities about four years ago, give or take. Meanwhile, random bureaucrat derp imagines himself in the position of giving said Romanians the so-called benefit of "Schengen", when all this time said Romanians have shown to be doing very well without it. Gee, thanks but no thanks, Mr. Juncker.

So far, Romania has been unscathed by the refugee crisis affecting other European countries, acting more as a transit passage for migrants trying to reach Western Europe.

And why would that be? For one, however welcoming they suppose themselves, Romanians are deeply conservative creatures, for centuries orthodox Christians. Then, the countries whence so-called "immigrant terrorists" are coming don't have any particular bone to pick with Romanians, despite the latter's continuing sucking off of NATO. The people in this geographical region have had about half a millenium of experience in dealing with Muslims; so fancy yourselves multicultural much?

Pressured by the EU, Romania has recently agreed to receive 2,000 refugees from Greece and Italy.

“This comes on top of the 700 refugees already relocated here,” added Romania’s Minister for Foreign Affairs.

Despite the political move, questions remain over the country’s readiness to welcome refugees and brave a possible influx of migrants.

Speaking to Euronews, a representative of the Immigration Office, put the total capacity of Romania’s six asylum centers at around 1,330, with the possibility of adding additional bed facilities.

The news site Digi 24 went to a Bucharest receiving centre currently housing 200 refugees from Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq and Egypt and reported on the living conditions found there.

The worn-out linoleum flooring and damp patches on interior walls, leave room for improvement, it reported.

Aha! So the actual story goes along the lines of: Gigi invites a random stranger, Ali, in his house, to stay a while; Ali isn't interested in staying much: er nicht sprech rumänisch, and besides, there's other places with better loot (though fewer beautiful women to fuck); meanwhile, one of Gigi's neighbours, Hans, elected the town mayor or whatever, complains to Gigi that his house "leaves room for improvement" and that Ali wouldn't be satisfied with his stay. What the actual fuck? Seriously now: Romanian officials kindly invite Mr. Juncker, Mrs. Merkel and all their pantsuit friends to host the refugees wherever they want, on their own fucking money.

But this asylum facility, as well as the remaining five scattered across Romania, will quickly become overcrowded if a refugee surge were to happen.

Romania has bigger problems at the moment. The hospitals are overcrowded with ill people, the streets in the few big cities are overcrowded with cars, the rail infrastructure is decaying, the national roads aren't much better and the local social-democrat government isn't doing much to help -- by which I mean, it seems to be trying its best to plunge everyone into deep shit.

So. Romania has bigger problems at the moment.

Putting up tents in the courtyards of asylum centers as a way of doubling housing capabilities is the authorities' only response so far.

And since we're here, putting up tents in open spaces would be the authorities' only response to a potential (and not at all improbable) 7+ Richter earthquake taking place in the Vrancea region -- nine eleven, nine eleven, remember nineteen seventy-seven. What do?

Now that we've introduced ourselves straight into the subject by dissecting this very informative news article, let's take a bit of time recounting the olds.

The Roman Empire reached its peak extent at the beginning of the second century AD, during Trajan's reign, one of the last regions annexed being Dacia, which incidentally overlaps much of today's territory of Romania. Moreover, the Roman Empire extended to the east as far as Asia Minor and the Arabic Peninsula, and to the south as far as northern Africa, including today's Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Turkey, etc. This state of affairs did not last long: by the end of the third century, Aurelian evacuated Dacia Traiana under various (mostly internal) pressures. By the end of the fourth century, the Roman Empire was split in two pieces and by its end the Germanic barbars -- or were they the barbaric Germans? -- were left to rule the Western ruins, while the Byzantines were left to preserve whatever they could (culturally, intellectually, economically, etc.) given the times.

Now let us again return to present-day empires. Romania joined the EU in 2007; the EU reached its peak extent in 2013, with Croatia's adherence. Romania, Bulgaria and Greece however host the eastern border, and will likely continue to do so for the time being, since there is little to no interest from Turkey to join the party. What next?

Of course, history is not cyclical. You're a special snowflake and all, living in special times, and just because you say it's so, then that makes it so -- big words make history, you see.

At some point, the Romans reached a cultural, technological, etc. peak and then made the mistake of diluting and inflating their culture, technology, etc., which led to a natural dissolution; the EUians also reached a cultural, technological, etc. peak and then made the mistake of diluting and inflating their culture, technology, etc., which -- naturally! -- will not lead to any sort of dissolution, mais au contraire, more and more progress!

Moreover, at some point the Roman Empire started to crumble under the weight of lack-of-culture-as-insecurity, as displayed by whatever hordes -- conquered or conquering -- started to wreak havoc around the place, and as a result the orcs were left to, as previously mentioned, rule the ruins; the EU Empire is also burdened by the pressure of whatever hordes -- conquered, and conquering -- started to wreak havoc around various places2, who -- naturally! -- won't wreak havoc in the EU, which they appreciate with all their hearts3.

May your ass be safe while all these things don't not not happen. The irony of it being that the inept Romanians might end up in the role of non-preservers of non-Imperial non-culture, non-intellect, non-economy, etc., given their generally byzantine approach to things.


  1. Original link and archived. The archived article is broken at the moment, in that the text is missing; and given that news sites usually suck donkey balls, I don't trust that the original link will be up for long. So I guess I'll just have to paste the whole thing here.

  2. Never forget: there are now historical monuments that you'll only see in photos. Good thing we still have photos, eh?

  3. They won't, will they? Well, let's take just an example of how not-wreaking-havoc looks in the EU.

    Oh, and by the way, don't think that you're safe just because you live on the other side of the Atlantic. You're not. Examples there are plenty, you just have to open your eyes a bit and look around you.

    Speaking of which, this orcishness has absolutely nothing to do with race, religion, gender and other subjects in fashion nowadays, or whatever subjects were or will be in fashion in your day. The only distinction is that in one part of the Western Empire the orcs are mostly imported, while in the remaining part they are mostly cultivated. Which one's which? This is left as an exercise to the reader.